so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
