sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
