This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
