She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
