I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
