I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
