Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Randomize
