Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
