Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
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