Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
