It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
