remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
