He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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