Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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