I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
