He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
