His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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