There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
