I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
