Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
