Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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