Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
