They should really pass out barf bags in church
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Randomize
