I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
