Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
