It's Friday. Sex?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
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