I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'm bleeding and have questions
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
