Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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