oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
