This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
where are my eyebrows?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
