She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Let's get the cat blown out
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
