did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
