One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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