maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
