In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
