Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
