Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
