we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
