With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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