Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
