Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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