I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
