my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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