you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
