It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Randomize
