quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
