If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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