Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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