You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
