Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Randomize
